Tag Archives: Meditation

Living Heaven (When It Feels Like Hell)

Every spring, I await the arrival of the Omega Institute catalog in the mail. I’ve only attended a program there twice, but the catalog inspires me. Even if I don’t sign up for a workshop, I find other uses for the catalog. For example, it’s good vision board material.

It took me more than a month to read this year’s catalog from cover to cover. I dog-eared some pages with the intention of signing up for a program and eventually selected a weekend workshop called Living Heaven Now with Anita Moorjani and John Holland. Anita, author of Dying to Be Me and What If This Is Heaven?, underwent a near-death experience in 2006 that transformed her life, and John Holland is a widely renowned psychic medium and author. I hadn’t heard of him, but Anita’s books and TED Talk resonated and inspired me deeply, and the combination of perspectives was compelling because she had crossed over and returned with a story to share about what she experienced on the other side, and he talks to dead people. I registered for the workshop mostly because Anita’s teachings focus on loving yourself and living your life fearlessly, and tender, loving self-care is what I am giving special attention to this year.

For me, the high points of the weekend were two guided meditations. Anita led a lengthy visualization based on her near-death experience in which we imagined ourselves on our deathbed with our loved ones gathered around. Before taking our last breath, we reflected on the life we led – the joys, sorrows, successes, regrets, etc. Then we let go and entered the nonphysical realm where we were without gender, race, culture, beliefs, grudges, judgment, etc. and were surrounded by unconditional love. We were greeted by someone (in my case, my mom) and then became aware of more loving presences around us – some we recognized and others we didn’t. We also faced the person who hurt us the most in this lifetime but interacted as two pure essences and acknowledged that we had a soul agreement that was based on deep love. In this realm, we could understand why everything happened as it did. Eventually, we learned it was not our time, and we had to return to our bodies to live our lives fearlessly. We were given a second chance at life, and what were we going to do with it? What would we do differently? What was most important now?

Needless to say, there were many tears flowing during this profound inner journey! Seeing my children gathered around my bed and knowing I’d have to leave them, being with my parents and other loved ones who had passed on, being with the person who had hurt me the most free of all human defilements and limitations and feeling nothing but unconditional love between us, learning about my gifts and purpose – each step of this inner journey brought a fresh round of tears, peace, and clarity. I felt like a waterfall. But it was good.

The following day, John led us through a “soul shift” process based on Pete Sanders’ work, that took our awareness up through our body, all the way to the top of our head, and then up higher and higher, into our soul essence where we could receive answers to any questions we had and communicate with loved ones in the nonphysical. It was a place of love, kindness, wisdom, and deep peace that felt very different from being in my head and body.

There was a lot of content presented and discussed throughout the weekend, and my biggest takeaway was an awareness of my gifts, talents, and abilities along with the realization that in order to use them to their fullest potential, I must learn how to manage and balance them effectively. To be clear, I’m talking about empathy, sensitivity, and compassion, which could mutate into overcaring, overhelping, and enabling. It’s important to keep these qualities in check so they will serve me and not drain me. Only then will I be better able to serve others, which is why I believe we were given our gifts and talents in the first place.

This wisdom came at exactly the right time and was put to the test hard-core and immediately in real life.

When I first wake up in the morning, my mind is like a coloring book page with faint, glowing outlines of some kind of cosmic blueprint or pattern. It feels great: A new day, a fresh slate with endless possibilities! However, for the past several mornings, the pattern quickly fills in with the heavy colors of this world, and my stomach ties itself in knots. I reach for a positive feeling or affirmation so the gravity of the world will not bring me down. The realization sets in again, as it does every morning lately: Someone I love very much is going through hell. Hell like I never could have imagined. Hell that I cannot fix. She (I am going to use the pronoun she for simplicity but not necessarily accuracy) is the only one who can do anything about it. I have tried to go back in time and figure out where things started to unravel, which is both natural and futile. Is there something I could have done to prevent it? These are not productive places to focus my energy and attention.

Mostly, I feel confused. What is true? What isn’t? What are the real issues? As a highly empathic person, I can’t help but feel my loved one’s pain. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, and the stakes are very high.

I suspect one of my lessons in this lifetime is to strengthen my backbone to keep my caring nature in check so I can do more good in the world. In many situations, my backbone is just fine, but sometimes it needs work because I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings. And just when I believe I’ve done the work and have a solid backbone, it’s as if the Universe comes along and says, “Ya think so? OK, let’s see how you handle this.” You could call it the Accelerated Learning Plan, and I’m beginning to believe it’s what I signed up for this time around.

I’m grateful to have the soul-shift technique in my spiritual toolbox along with many other resources that can help me navigate this challenging situation. Through meditation or “shifting” out of ordinary consciousness, I can receive answers that aren’t charged with fear. When I tune to that channel, I realize there is so much support in the nonphysical realm, and I am never alone. Neither is my loved one who is going through hell on earth at the moment. Synchronicities provide further evidence of this, and we’ve experienced a number of them.

The guided meditation Anita Moorjani led us through helped me to realize on a deeper level that we are both divine beings manifesting in this life, and her soul has reasons for experiencing this path – spiritual reasons that I don’t understand. I have to trust that her soul wants to learn and grow in certain ways and that on another plane, what looks like hell serves a spiritual purpose. Looking at the situation from this perspective does not diminish my compassion or caring, but it takes the edge off my anxiety and fear so I can discern more clearly the best action to take. I want my actions to be guided by love, not fear. Yes, the stakes are very high from our earthly perspective, but the universe is infinite, and from an expanded perspective where the ceiling is infinitely higher (if there is even a ceiling at all), things aren’t as dire as they appear to our small, human minds.

I expect that at the end of our lives, just like at the end of The Wizard of Oz, we will discover that we had the power all along. I believe that about my distressed loved one. We have no idea how powerful we are until we stop deceiving ourselves and giving away our power (by blaming others and making ourselves into victims) and start doing the work.

In the past 48 hours, I have had to practice tough love and say no when it was very hard to do so. I realize the importance of setting healthy boundaries and not accepting responsibility that isn’t mine. Resisting the urge to jump in and rescue. This is not easy for an “empath” to do, but it is necessary! Compassion is more effective when it is fused with wisdom, and empathy is more effective when it is supported by a strong backbone and an abundance of Self-love.

I realize it’s important to make time to go to that soul space where I know all is well so as not to get sucked in or drained by earthly drama. In that place, I realize there are much larger forces at work and so much more to the situation than I can perceive from where I stand, and it’s not up to me to try to make everything right. My job is to shine my light as brightly as I can by expressing my gifts, talents, and abilities to their fullest potential. Ironically, challenges help me to shine even brighter and to experience more of my divine nature and greater strength and joy. I might not be able to choose the circumstances I encounter, but I can choose the thoughts and beliefs that will help me navigate them. For example, I’ve learned not to ask, “What did I do to deserve this?” but to consider what my soul might want to learn from it or simply trust that there is some kind of soul lesson involved.

I remind myself throughout the day that “All Is Well”, even when it seems anything but well from where I stand. Remembering that alleviates the anxiety and fear and stops my mind from running in circles. Then I can get to work.


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The photographs in this blog (except for those attributed to other owners) and in my Flickr photostream are available for purchase as prints or cards through my Etsy shop by selecting a “custom print” in whatever size you prefer and indicating either the name of the print or the blog post and order in which it appears.

© Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography, 2017. SHARING IS CARING, and I appreciate my work being shared with others! Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography (River-Bliss.com). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including all text and photos, without express and written permission from this website’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. In other words, I put my heart and soul into my writing and photography and want to be credited for it and have some traffic sent my way. It’s the high vibration thing to do!  🙂

Water Lily Medicine

This morning, I woke up to a supportive text from someone who loves and cares deeply about me and realizes it might be a difficult day. I’d awakened early this morning feeling worried about how the day might go but managed to get back to sleep for a couple more hours, and receiving that text, literally within two minutes of waking up for good, made a difference. It was comforting to begin the day knowing that I am not alone and that someone truly cares.

In order to get back to sleep two hours earlier, I focused on releasing my thoughts and replacing them with thoughts that brought relief, and I scanned my body to become aware of and release any tension. I told myself it’s okay if I don’t fall asleep and had a Plan B (yoga nidra meditation) if I didn’t. And then I fell asleep and awakened to that wonderful text.

Through half a century of living in this world and being dedicated to personal and spiritual growth, I have developed an incredible toolbox to help me regain my sparkle when I’m feeling down. The toolbox is filled with resources that empower me to embrace my wholeness and shine my inner light. I’m sure you have such tools at your disposal, too. Each of us has our own spiritual toolbox, though the contents will vary from person to person according to personal preference and what gets the job done. Personally, gratitude is one of my power tools that yields consistently effective and amazing results, and I have many specialized, go-to tools in the mindfulness compartment of my toolbox, as well.

I’m not going to beat around the bush. July has been an emotionally tumultuous month here on the Hudson. For example, I took my son (my youngest) to college orientation for incoming freshmen, and it hit me that he really will be going away in less than a month and that I will have an empty nest for real. Not just practice, like when he lives seven minutes away at his dad’s house, but for real. I’ve also been grieving the decline of a close friend’s mental health and how it affects our relationship. Witnessing my friend’s behavior this summer has been like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It’s painful to stand by and feel there’s nothing more I can do to help. My dad’s physical health is suffering, and another friend is dealing with an alarmingly heavy load that life has served up. Then there are national and world events and how they are spun by the media – although I have to say that not having TV mitigates the effects of that.

But getting down is not what I write about. So, no worries. I’m not going there! Back to the toolbox…

I value taking out the tools and doing maintenance and improvement on a regular basis because the greatest gift we can give one another is our whole, loving self. It is that wholeness I strive to cultivate so I can give people with whom I interact the gift of my best self rather than a smaller version of myself that depends on them providing me with the relief that ultimately comes from me taking personal responsibility and doing the inner work that only I can do. In other words, when we look to another person to help us feel good about ourselves, we are doing both him/her and ourselves a disservice – and the relief we receive from anything or anyone outside of ourselves is only temporary. A band-aid. Even an addiction. I don’t like the way it feels to be needy and don’t like the idea of using another person to feel better about myself. That’s not the answer. I can do better.

There’s simply no way around doing your inner work. It’s the only way to liberate you from the chains of dependency. And when you’ve had a taste of that freedom and that expanded Self, you’re no longer satisfied with a life of dependency and addiction. You know that going back (to giving away your power) will not ultimately work, for it will keep you in a vicious cycle of desire.

But there are times when our energy and resilience are low – perhaps from exhaustion or overwhelm (which can happen when we’re not using our tools for daily maintenance) – and encountering a great loss or challenge leaves us feeling needy, vulnerable, and incomplete. We might not even have the strength to open our toolbox and might forget we have a toolbox in the first place.

That’s when a kind and caring communication from someone who truly loves us can make a difference and give us that burst of strength and positivity that makes a difference. So surrounding ourselves with people who are naturally kind, loving, and supportive is another self-care tool to include in our spiritual toolbox. And it’s important to maintain our toolbox by discarding what doesn’t work for us. This includes letting go of people who have a negative effect on our well-being. Because life is too short to have to sort through our toolbox to locate effective tools amidst a pile of tools that are broken or never worked for us in the first place, even if others swear by them.

Recently, I was feeling very sad and lonely. It was an uncomfortable feeling that I realized I probably should sit with even though I wanted to flee from it. I sensed that if I ran from it, it would lodge in my body, whereas if I sat with a witnessing presence, it might dissolve or transform. But the idea of sitting and “being with” the uncomfortable sensations felt daunting. I felt like an addict who wanted a fix. A distraction to whisk me away from the acute discomfort I was experiencing.

It was a clear indicator that I had some work to do and that there was tremendous potential for healing and growth! Opportunity disguised as pain.

And then the image of a water lily came to mind.

White Water Lily-1

I’ve been drawn to water lilies even more than usual lately and have spent hours photographing them on the river. There is something about their energy and form that speaks to me. So when a water lily appeared in my mind during a moment of acute anguish (aggravated by being overtired), it inspired me with a simple movement that helped me to inhabit my fullness again and expand out of a place that felt tattered and diminished. I call it “water lily pose,” and I made my first-ever guided meditation video to share it with you. It’s simple and brief, and it’s the newest addition to my spiritual toolbox that can be useful when you are feeling disempowered in the face of personal or world events and long to return to your whole, sparkling self. Water lily medicine.

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The photographs in this blog (except for those attributed to other owners) and in my Flickr photostream are available for purchase as prints or cards through my Etsy shop by selecting a “custom print” in whatever size you prefer and indicating either the name of the print or the blog post and order in which it appears.

© Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography, 2016. SHARING IS CARING, and I appreciate my work being shared with others! Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography (river-bliss.com). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including all text and photos, without express and written permission from this website’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. In other words, I put my heart and soul into my writing and photography and want to be credited for it and have some traffic sent my way. It’s the high vibration thing to do!  🙂 

The Best of 2015: A Tea Meditation

Barely a week and a half into the New Year, I’m feeling a sense of hopeful momentum supported by unprecedented planning, organization, and support. This year, I’m taking life up a notch. I want to play with possibility and see what kind of magic I can tap into that I’ve been shutting out until now. I intend to break the mold, and it’s exciting.

Part of being intentional about planning for the new year is reflecting on the previous year. I’ve been taking inventory of what did and didn’t work, lessons I’ve learned, how I was transformed, what I discovered about myself, etc. At the top of my list of 2015 successes is what I call my “tea meditation,” and I want to share it with you.

The tea meditation is inspired by Michelle Martin Dobbins’ Daily Alchemy blog post on Making “Love Tea” and a breath practice that my spiritual guide recommended when I went  on retreat in the fall. It’s really simple and is a meditation that I actually look forward to every day because it feels amazing and is a remedy for when you experience a sense of emptiness or lack or if you simply want to cultivate a certain inner quality or energy.

What is it that you long for? That you feel you lack and might try to acquire in unhealthy or unproductive (and perhaps unconscious) ways? In this mediation, you will focus on that – on really feeling it and then (literally) drinking it in. I focused on love/nurturing, and as a result of doing this meditation regularly for three months, the grief and emptiness I felt stuck in last year has transformed into a sense of wholeness and completeness – a feeling of being tapped into an eternal Source of Love from which I can radiate and source love for others. In other words, I have gone from seeking love to being love and am so grateful for this miraculous shift! Now I am focusing more on abundance (which is my sacred word for the year). But if I feel shaky about love and experience myself seeking or longing for it, I’ll return to it.

You can perform this meditation with tea, water, juice, or any beverage that feels truly nourishing to you. I like to use tea because when the tea bag is steeping in the hot water, it helps me to imagine that the quality or feeling I want to develop is infusing the water.

You might want to dedicate a special mug for this ritual. I chose one that felt right to me, and then my daughter gifted me a mug that she decorated by hand and which therefore means a lot to me, so now I have two. (If you’re looking for a special mug, check out what my talented cousin, Chris, has to offer! )

Tea

Here’s how you do it: While the tea is steeping, hold the mug in your hands, and imagine that whatever you long for most and feel is lacking in your life is being put into it. (Since I focus on abundance, I’ll use that as an example.) See the word itself going into the water, and concentrate on generating a feeling of (abundance). This might involve visualizing yourself manifesting a certain goal, recalling a memory in which you felt a sense of abundance, or imagining how someone who embodies abundance might feel. Put all that good stuff in your cup! Become attuned to the frequency of abundance while the tea is steeping, for at least five minutes. Focus as completely as possible. Really feel it. (It feels quite amazing!)

Tea2

When your beverage has cooled down or you feel ready, start sipping it, and imagine that the vibration of abundance (for example) is going into you and becoming part of you. Feel the warm liquid entering you and spreading through your body. Allow what you seek to fill you!

When I experience the vibration of abundance during this meditation, I often have insights about what attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors support or restrict the flow of abundance in my life. Sometimes it simply feels wonderful and empowering and raises my vibration. When I’m in that state, whatever is not in harmony with that vibration falls away. It doesn’t resonate. And sometimes I receive encouraging signs.

For example, one morning I was feeling very much attuned to the vibrational frequency of abundance and was really feeling it. Then, in the middle of the meditation, I heard a cha-ching! notification from my Etsy shop that I made a sale! When I heard the sound, I glanced at my phone and saw that it was 11:11 – a time that holds special meaning for me! It felt quite magical and validated that I’m on the right vibrational frequency to attract abundance.

In a recent blog post, I shared instructions for making “spirit lanterns” to illuminate aspirations and intentions for the upcoming year. If you made one, your tea meditation could focus on one of the words on your lantern – whichever one feels most relevant and essential to cultivate at this time. Focus on that word for a month, and see if anything shifts or changes. Focus in depth on the quality you feel you’re lacking. Totally focus on it. Experience it. In other words (borrowing from my previous post): Feel transformed. When you do, you’ll find that you’re not lacking anymore!

I truly look forward to sitting on my cushion and doing my tea meditation. It feels so good to get in the vibrational state of actually feeling and radiating the quality that I want to attract or cultivate – to feel that I already have it. To really drink it in and feel whole, complete…and transformed.

The photographs in this blog (except for those attributed to other owners) and in my Flickr photostream are available for purchase as prints or cards through my Etsy shop by selecting a “custom print” in whatever size you prefer and indicating either the name of the print or the blog post and order in which it appears.

© Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material, including all text and photos, without express and written permission from this website’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Susan Meyer and River Bliss Photography (river-bliss.com) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.